Maybe is Time.. ( First days of December)

After loosing a relative this is the worst feeling I have ever felt. I'm feeling that everything is going down and it sucks because I know that there are some much things you can do to fix it. I gave to this all I could, I let so many things because I was expecting more from you. It is hard to know that there is so much inside, there are so many things you can do to fix it but you won't even try it. I know for sure that you won't do it. You were all for me, you were my inspiration, my air, you were almost everything but now  I feel that it is so far away that it never happens. I'm sitting here feeling the time runing, watching people moving, doing their things but I still here. I feel stopped, unable to move , to stand up and to speak, there is nothing I can doto fix this because I feel I did so much that now is your time. I don't wan to feel that this is ending but actually  I do. I don't know if you understood me when I told you how I was feeling and how important you were for me. I can't lie to you but this  time maybe is my fault or maybe is yours, maybe we did something we didn't know , I'm not sure. Maybe is time to say good bye but I refuse to say it, I just want you to know that I'm waiting for you to show up and show me how important is this for you. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm juust trying to lt my feeling go. Maybe is time to star taking in consideration all I did for you. I'm not a perfect person but I did my best.

Sincerelly Alenniz